Never a dull moment in Fitzrovia

By Angela Lovely

“Beware of Fitzrovia,” Tambi said… “It’s a dangerous place, you must be careful.” – Julian Maclaren-Ross

I had just popped out to get some more organic milk and was coming back in when one of my neighbours (who’s very nosey) door-stepped me and said: “Have you read that email I forwarded you?”

Groan, not another one I thought. I wish she’d stop doing it, my inbox is full enough as it is. “No, you must read it”, she insists, “I’m really worried about Fitzrovia”. So I settle down with a nice cuppa of milky coffee and sift through my inbox of mostly unwanted emails.

Finally I find a ten-page message (who reads this stuff?) that she’d passed onto me detailing all sorts of horrors that have been taking place over the last week or so in my very street.

It seems there have been mobile phones stolen by young men wearing hoodies, someone’s been punched, people running around the halls of residence, a man selling drugs, vandalism, bicycles stolen and deforestation!

But the biggest concern of my neighbours is a bunch of students in Fitzroy Square who I myself had written about. The rest of the email goes on about town planning. Boring…